Now, if they try to contact you (and they probably will), you can just tell them in a calm manner that you need some time and space to deal with what they’ve done. Mutual dependency has many advantages, stemming from the fact that two people are joined together in a relationship attempting to increase each other's happiness. It has been said that completely blissful love does not exist. Thanks, "...it has been found that people low in defensiveness have more experiences of love than do highly defensive people. Put it all together and you might say, as an example, “I felt very ashamed, alone, and scared when you let slip about my pregnancy to our colleagues – it has put me in a difficult position with the boss and I’m worried about my future job security.”. Someone you care about has hurt you, but just how much emotional pain are you in? The emotions that result from it are what we mean when we say we’re “feeling betrayed.”. Accordingly, we may not bother to help them by hurting them. Some people find it incredibly difficult to control certain urges, even if they have promised you that they would. Shame – you may blame yourself and feel ashamed by what has happened and how others may now see and treat you. It is impossible to live in a fallen world populated with fallen people in yet unconverted flesh and not hurt others or be hurt by them, and as believers we can do one of two things in response. The idea of sleeping with them or touching them repulses you. Not altogether a bad thing- because it is a form of intimacy that most crave. Its a blessing in disguise to even have been able to experience such love actually. Whether it’s a betrayal by a family member, best friend, partner, or someone else entirely, the steps you might take to get over the hurt caused are roughly the same. Thank you for this compelling perspective on love relationships with an earthly human touch to it. However, the explanation for deliberately hurting the person you love is far more complex. You may, for example, feel betrayed that a partner or family member has said they will give up drinking, only to find out that they’ve been doing it behind your back and lying to you about it. Do You Take Your Relationship for Granted? If it helps you to put your thoughts and feelings into words, you might also consider writing a letter to those who have hurt you. How can one both love and hurt the same person? Apologies if my comment sounds rude, but this article was so vague as to be meaningless. Wordy, vague and not that logical. After all, you still have responsibilities to take care of. Hurting the beloved may be the last alarm bell that warns of the lover's difficulties; it is an extreme measure signaling urgency. It may also instill a victim mentality whereby you focus on what has been done to you and who is to blame for it. Lovers can easily hurt the beloved without intending to do so. Therapy can be a good start. Anger has been perceived as a useful means to strengthen or readjust a relationship. Indeed, in a survey of over 500 lovers, almost all of them assumed that passionate love is a bittersweet experience.        So if I broke your heart last night, it's because I love you most of all." You must take some time away and break ties with that person. In these situations, it can help to talk through the incident and the feelings you have about it with a trusted confidant. "You always hurt the one you love, the one you should not hurt at all; This article is worthless garbage even compared to me, and that's saying something. What you don’t want is a yes man or woman who will gee you on as you bitch about your betrayer and add fuel to that fire we spoke about earlier. They just have to talk to someone about it, perhaps as a means of processing their own emotions on the matter. If you're afraid you might have hurt someone's feelings and you really want to make it right, the only thing you can do is to apologize and mean it.

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